Watchwatch!

A comment box discussion here got me thinking today about the phenomenon of “watch??? blogs, set up expressly to have a go at other blogs. I’m only aware of a few of them, (most obviously FI Fie Foe Fum, devoted to picking over the works of the Freedom Institute, and to which I contribute) but there’s a good chance that there are thousands of them out there. We await the next logical step, the development of the “watch watch???, the “watch watch watch??? and, after the manner of Gillette Razors, the “watch watch watch watch???. It’s a brave new blogging world and no mistake.

During the brief kerfuffle at internet commentator, Frank McGahon expressed the sentiment that people (other than himself, one presumes) should have better things to do than read other peoples blogs and complain about them. He’s perfectly correct of course, but about as relevant as the drunk who asks the Guard if he nothing better to do than arrest him. There can only be two answers; no, I have nothing better to do; or yes, I have better things to do, but I prefer to do this. In my own case, I am well aware that I should be reading improving books or taking long walks, but this knowledge doesn’t stop me going back to the Freedom institute blog and its offshoots time and time again, seeking further grist for my mill. What can I say? Like Charlie Brown, I gets my laughs.

The best gag of today’s exchange was this, a watch site whipped up, allegedly to dissect the works of Mr McGahon. Its author refers in his debut post to the eternal dilemma of watch bloggers: how to vent ire or derision without dignifying the subject. Advertising loudly how little you care about Mr. Bloggs, the subject of your blog, fools no-one – after all, you’re still blogging about him, instead of taking one of those bracing walks. Better to admit that you’ve been sucked in, I find, and just enjoy the rough and tumble. This strategy is particularly gratifying if you get an acknowledgement from Bloggs that you exist. He’ll adopt a tone of Olympian disdain, (not unlike the one you adopt in discussing him, and just as unconvincing) but make no mistake, he reads your every post, even though he knows he shouldn’t, and he’s annoyed at the moment of weakness that allowed him to rise to your bait. He tells himself he’s flattered by the attention, but part of him is quite irritated. And this, you must realise, is the best you can do. You will not, like a TV barrister obtain from him a snivelling admission of wrongness. Rather, like a real barrister, you will be doing well to elicit from him an occasional loss of temper, and an undermining of his credibility before onlookers.

As to your status, well don’t kid yourself. If Bloggs is so very insignificant, then where does that leave you? As a mere watch blogger, you are of an order of magnitude less significant than he, and until Bloggs-watch-watch comes along, you are a bottom feeder. (That FI Fie got more long list nominations than the FI in the Blog Awards is, as our Editor points out, a bizarre anomaly, perhaps explainable by quantum).

But like I say, why not just go with it? It’s important to remember that no-one (really folks, get over yourselves, no-one) gives a shit what bloggers say anyway, except for other bloggers. So really, these little spats are no different from a decent pub argument. And how would you feel if someone, a complete stranger, told you that your pub chat was waste of time? The best things about blogs are the conversations they facilitate, and the quasi-communities they create. If those conversations are sometimes bad-tempered, or the communities sometimes riven, then they’re no different from their counterparts out there in the real world. So blog on, watch bloggers, and feel no shame about it. If someone asks you if you have nothing better to do with your time, remind them that they have opted to spend their own precious time asking you stupid questions.